Mother’s Day isn't always filled with joy; it can stir up complex emotions and painful memories. Trust me, I get it.  I know from personal experience that we can fill pages and pages when it comes to the emotions we feel regarding having a mother, being a mother, not being able to be a mother, the loss of a mother, not wanting to be a mother and more.

This blog post dives into step two of The BeMo Practice: FUNCK, offering guidance on feeling-and-healing our Mother’s Day storyline.

Step 1: F – Validating Your Emotions

Acknowledge the range of emotions surrounding Mother’s Day. Whether it's grief, loss, or unresolved issues, allow yourself to feel without judgment. Your emotions are valid, and feeling them is part of the healing process.

Step 2: U – Letting Go of Expectations

Release societal or personal expectations tied to Mother’s Day. These are limiting beliefs that hinder you from feeling secure in your authentic Self. Understand there's no right or wrong way to feel about it. You can accept where others are, and you can accept where you are. Opt out of traditions that don't align with your well-being, and write yourself supportive "You Notes" to tap into self-compassion.

Step 3: N – Self-Care and Compassion

Identify your “need for” self-care and compassion. Engage in activities like BeMo journaling, meditation, or time in nature. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your feelings, treating yourself with the same kindness you offer others.

Step 4: C – Create Personal Rituals

Craft personal rituals to honor yourself or other nurturing figures in your life. Write a letter, light a candle, or engage in activities symbolizing healing and remembrance. Choose actions that resonate with your emotional needs, providing solace and closure.

Step 5: K – Honor the Complexity of Healing

Acknowledge healing's complexity and the power that you are harnessing through your practice. Recognize how far you have come. Honor your storyline - the good and the bad - with self-awareness and understanding.  

To illustrate a FUNCK-E Mother’s Day, here's a journal entry example:

F I feel angry about all of the milestones in life that I never got to have in a normal way – prom, moving away to college, graduation, or the first time I myself became pregnant. I feel resentment for the childhood I missed out on when I was already too much of an adult and then had to, almost overnight, be completely on my own emotionally and very quickly out on my own, quite literally. I feel abandoned and unsupported. And I also feel a deep shame and guilt at times for having felt that way for so long. I feel alone because I can’t really admit this to anyone I know or tell my family for fear of what they will think.

U I get that. But girl, you GET to be mad! You get to feel however you feel because that is YOUR truth and YOUR truth matters. I want you to be free of this. I am here for you. I support you.

N I need love and belonging. I need a hug. I need belief in my own future whether I choose to be a mother or not.

C To feel love, belonging, and belief…

• I can ask someone I love and trust for a hug.
• I can reach out to people who understand what I’m going through and can provide the support and connection I need.
• I can prioritize self-care and show myself compassion by allowing myself to grieve and process my emotions without judgment.
• I can write a letter to my Mom expressing how I feel and everything I have gone through as a result of the loss I feel from her and within my own life.
• I can think of fun and creative ways to celebrate the day in my own way.

K I know Mother’s Day is just a day like any other day, and that what makes this day so overwhelming emotionally is an experience that exists in the past, even if it feels like it is happening to me right now. I know I do not need to hold anyone else accountable or project these feelings onto them as a result of my thoughts and feelings around this day. I know I get to do whatever it is I need and find my own desire for my life, which gives me the choice to become a mother in my own way and in my own time only if I want. I know I don’t have to avoid any more major milestones in life like motherhood or marriage because I already experienced so many without being surrounded by family or that expected mother-daughter relationship.

Feeling extra FUNCK-E? Extend your Mother’s Day journaling practice by adding one of these BeMo Extra topics:

• Gratitude
• Imagined Future
• “I Get To” Practice of Enoughness

Mother’s Day can be challenging for those who carry difficult emotions, but by working through the FUNCK, we can navigate the day with care, self-compassion, and healing. Validate your emotions, let go of expectations, prioritize self-care, create personal rituals, and seek support if needed.

Remember, this day does not define your worth or the love you deserve. Be gentle with yourself, and may this Mother’s Day become an opportunity for growth, understanding, and renewed strength.

This Mother's Day, honor yourself or the nurturing figures in your life with the gift of self-compassion and healing. Join us in embracing growth and understanding through The BeMo Practice in your BeMo Journal. Start your journey to self-discovery today.